i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize