i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
