he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
