Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
