Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
