? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
