areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
