He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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