No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
