You smell like stripper and shame
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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