He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
