you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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