she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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