I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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