We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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