i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
