she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
