I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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