nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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