just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
