she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize