I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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