thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize