Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize