OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
