It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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