I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
