At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
