so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
