I am puke
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
