Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
