hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
