I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
