I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
one might say we're banned from that church
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
