just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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