Pappa wants mamma naked
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize