dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
