just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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