it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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