We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
