she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
