Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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