You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
