i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
