All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
