Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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