i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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