I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
