He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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