Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize