last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
