Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
