So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
