9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
