Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
