do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
