i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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