I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
