after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
