no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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